Unfortunately, at some point in all of our lives, we’ve all felt a little woozy and had to have a quick puke in a nightclub. While it can often be a major relief and lead to you feeling a hell of a lot better, it can also be an extremely embarrassing and messy affair. So, in order to help keep your pride intact, we’ve put together a list of five places to puke in a nightclub without being spotted.

The toilet

This is probably the most obvious place to puke without getting spotted but unfortunately it’s not always possible due to queues and timing. If you feel even slightly sick try taking preemptive measures by dancing close to the loos and pretending you’re just nipping of for a quick wee.

 

In a glass

If you think you’re only going to throw up a small reactionary puke a glass can often be a good option. Always try and use an empty pint glass so you don’t spoil your drink and to give yourself every chance of catching all of it. Be careful with this one because overflow can often end up all over your face or down the front of your chest.

 

In a handbag

One for the girls,or lads with man bags, this is a trick that has been used in nightclubs all over the world for hundreds of years. Pretend you’re looking for something in your bag and in the process release the putrid contents of your stomach into a perfectly safe receptacle. Remember to remove any valuables from the bag before committing to the puke and remember that bags that close fully and are partially water proof always work better for containing puke.

 

In someone’s hood

If you feel like you are about to puke in the next couple of seconds have a quick glance around and look for someone wearing a hoodie. The hood of a hoodie is basically a huge pocket more than capable of holding a couple of litres of puke. You’ll need to “puke and run” to pull this one of because most people won’t be happy with having their hood filled with puke. However, don’t feel bad about this, people who wear hoodies to nightclubs deserve to have them puked in.

 

In your shoes

This is probably the hardest bluff on our list to pull off, you’ll need to get your shoes off your foot and up to your mouth without drawing attention to yourself. Remember you’re in Ibiza and people do all sorts of weird shit all of the time so you can do it, you’ll just need to incorporate a little acting into your puke. Try contort your jaw and roll your eyes to create the illusion that you’re fucked on pills. Then act like you’re using your shoe as a phone and no one will think anything off. Once you’ve made the dversion you’ll be able to puke into your shoe to your heart’s content.