Going to Ibiza is great. Everything about a trip to the White Isle fills us with excitement but it’s not all about being there and living your best life, it’s also about rubbing it in the faces of your friends who aren’t there and are back home living their normal boring lives, like absolute morons.
Well, what if we told you there was a way you could still lord it up over your mates, without even having to leave your house. You’d probably say we were crazy, but you’d be wrong. All you need to do to get that smug feeling you only get when you’re in Ibiza, is fool all of your buddies into thinking you’re in Ibiza, which is actually a lot easier than it sounds.
So, to pull this off, you’ll have to plan it way in advance. You’ll need to tell your mates you’ve booked a holiday a couple of months before you attempt the ruse. Then, for the next couple of months before your fake departure date, constantly remind them about you imaginary holiday. They’ll have no reason to think that you’re not telling the truth and they’ll all already be dead jealous.
Once it’s time for you to go, you’re going to implement phase two of the plan; Instagram stories. The best way to make people think you’re in Ibiza is to recreate Ibiza on your Instagram stories and it’s actually a lot easier than you might think.
The first thing your going to need is a picture of the drink your going to have in the airport. The beauty of airport drinks is that they actually look exactly the exact same as drinks you have anywhere else. To fool your pals, all you need to do is go to a pub that none of them know, order a couple of drinks, take a photo of them and share it to your stories with a little bon voyage message.
Next up, you’ll need a picture of you with your airplane in the background. You have two options for this, you can either get a model airplane, they’re incredibly lifelike, or you can print a picture of an airplane, failing these options,you could always draw an airplane although it may not be as credible. Now, remember, that things in the background of photos look small, even when they are very big, so all you need to do is take a selfie at an angle that only shows your head with a piece of the fake airplane behind you, no one will ever know the difference.
By this point, your friends will have no reason to suspect your trip to Ibiza is anything but legit and it’s the perfect time to really start rubbing their noses in it. The one thing that really gets people is photos by the pool. These are so easy to recreate that it will have you wondering if anyone actually goes on holiday at all. All you need is an empty ice cream tub and two hotdogs. Simply fill the ice cream carton with water, a Carte D’or tub is the most pool like on the market and also the nicest to eat beforehand, and then take a picture of the hotdogs overlooking the water. This will perfectly replicate a pair of tanned legs by a swimming pool and send your friends crazy with jealousy.
You’ll also want to get some photos away from the pool, it’ll be a vital part of taking you’re fake holiday to the next level. One thing that there are lots of in Ibiza are palm trees. Do you know what look exactly like palm trees in photographs? Pineapples. Simply nip down to the shop and grab yourself a pineapple. Be sure to get a fresh one and not the stuff in a tin, that won’t work as a palm tree. Then all you need to do is follow the same technique as you used with the airplane and share the selfies of yourself with the pineapples in the background and everyone will be thinking you’re in a tropical paradise.
One thing that will really drive your pals wild is pictures of the beautiful weather in Ibiza but what if the weather back home isn’t as nice, you’ll never be able to make it look like its nice out when it’s not. Wrong! There’s a very simple fix for this. All you need is a piece of blue cardboard and a window. Simple put the cardboard into the corner of the window so the edges line up perfectly with the glass. Then take a photo so all you can see in the window frame and the blue cardboard and it looks exactly like your taking a picture of a perfect blue sky out of a window. Share this one first morning with a caption like “woke up to this” and sit back and watch your friends squirm.
Now, what do we usually see in a perfectly blue sky when we’re in Ibiza? A big bright sun. Can we recreate this in our own home? Of course we can. All you need to do for this is grab your pineapple and cut a slice out of the middle of it. On camera, a slice of pineapple is almost completely identical to the sun. Then get your hotdogs, slightly cooked to show how well your tan is coming along, put them in front of the blue cardboard and then get someone to hold the slice of pineapple against the top of the cardboard. This will give you a perfect picture of your tanned legs, in front of a perfectly blue sky with a beaming sun burning brightly overhead and no one will have a clue it’s not real.
The final piece of the puzzle will be some shots from inside one of Ibiza’s superclubs. Again, this is really easy to recreate. Ask yourself, what happens when you go clubbing in Ibiza? You get fucked up, right, and what happens when you take photos when you’re fucked up? They turn out to be blurry and hard to make out. So all you need to do for this is to take a blurry photo of you with some lights in the background. Try turning the telly on and off in a perfectly dark room and swinging your phone around in front of your face with the flash off as you take the photos and you should get the perfect image. Try sharing this with some thing like “Amnesia was amazing last night, got so loose that this was the only pic I got” then back that up with a #WhatHappensInIbizaStaysInIbiza and your deception will be complete.